Before I left Australia for the USA I had a MASSIVE tiger snake visit me at my home. Apparently it meant a huge change was on its way. I ignored it. Then I had a reoccurring dream of a tidal wave sweeping away everything (it didn't feel scary in the dream), apparently that meant a huge change was on its way. Guess what, I ignored that too.
While I was away I went through the most incredible experience, my very own catwalk show at Eco Fashion Week (WHO GETS TO SAY THAT!) but I came back and no-thing had changed. Nothing except me. WOW what a change I have gone through. I want to say it feels like it is for the best but I am shedding a layer of skin that I didn't know I had. I don't know if it is for the best but time will tell (what is "the best" anyway).
I feel a brutally honest, relentless, angry, frustrated, no bull-shit woman emerging from the depths with shit to do and with a thirst for getting this screwed up world on some kind of track in a vaguely positive direction. Those who know me may have seen glimpses, especially on PMS week, but this woman I am meeting face to face and inviting her in 100%. I have delayed and denied her for too long. I have been waiting a while to give myself permission to be real. So, permission granted.
I am over the crap, I am over walking on egg shells to keep fake smiles on fake people, I am over saying what I SHOULD say to make a few people less uncomfortable, I am over people getting pissed off if I don't behave according to their expectations. I am COMPLETELY over stupid people doing stupid and selfish things. Finally and most importantly, I am OVER OVER OVER doing what I have been told to do to keep the "brand reputation". WTF. What the hell is the point of creating an eco/ethical/conservation-orientated label if I can't talk about WHY we need to do things differently AND shout about the solutions? For me, I'd rather be working in a dungeon peeling slime off the walls than be a passive people pleaser within my own company. F*** that.
I have all of these feeling rushing around in my head and heart. It is all quite overwhelming, isolating and absolutely intense. But I have a viking warrior roar inside me that needs to be unleashed and the world will just have to deal with it.
Roar with me,